I've just read the most recent edition of Robert Genn's twice-weekly e-mail's written before boarding a flight to Kiev in which he refers to a quote by John Updike which says "I try to avoid teaching which takes a lot of your energy and makes you doubt yourself." I could immediately relate to the energy part, but wasn't quite sure about how it could make an artist doubt himself, until I read further.
Genn thinks that teaching can be "charming, for sure.....There's that terrific feeling you get when you see the lights come on in students' eyes. Watching improvement in others has to be one of the great highs. For those of us who love to spin knowledge, preparation itself opens up exciting new directions. Further, during delivery, the teacher finds out what she thinks by hearing what she has to say."
This is true: when a student takes what you give him, runs with it and feels proud, there is no better feeling, and teachers do love sharing what they know. But many art students are insecure, afraid to make a mark, to take risks, or don't recognize their own abilities. These students take constant encouragement/pushing to take that leap in order to feel successful. Then there are all the others who, because of one reason or another (problems at home, learning difficulties, etc.) can't focus at all. Many teachers feel like the glue that holds kids together.
Genn has some insight into this: "But teaching takes a special kind of energy. Lots of it. Frankly, I don't know how they find it. Arriving home from the schoolroom, many of my art-teacher friends have to put their feet up and debrief with something like Vodka or the decorating of eggs. Exhausted, many have trouble getting to the studio. Like those undersized tubes of Ukrainian toothpaste, they are used up." (Painter's Keys Website)
It's as if all of your energy, ideas and knowledge have been drained from you. Rejuvenation is needed and may come from time with other artists to share experiences, etc. or from workshops to improve skills. This is when doubt can seep in, especially if you are new at calling yourself an "artist". Being a student again is a humbling experience, but an important one for all teachers. You expect yourself, or assume others do, to know everything about art because you are an art teacher but find yourself in a situation where other students have been working in a particular medium much longer than you. Now you are the one being critiqued again. Thank God the teacher voice in you tells you to keep trying, you're just learning.
Anyone for Vodka?
